The Night I don’t want this night to end Floating in oblivion I want night to last forever Why must we wake up? It’s as if the night is there just to tease us Only a short reprieve from torturous day Dreams blind us from what awaits when we wake I want this night to stay and comfort me in its eternal blackness The sun’s beams like a monster peeking from behind the closet door Spend day waiting for night’s warm embrace Bringing comfort and protection from all that exists Anonymity at last But don’t let it fool you Night is day disguised Unveiling its true identity come dusk Falling asleep into an inviting void A dimension beyond our four Together we go interstellar The night doesn’t care about your successes or failures Good night Sleep tight
Morning Commute Tin snake, barely awake, twisted tunnels, pushed and funnelled, crammed in, tuna can, sea of frowns, furrowed brows, claustrophobic, body frozen, anxiety, stranger eyeing me, death stare, vacant glare, guy's sweaty, eyes heavy, morning breath, feel like death, faces glued to hand devices deathly afraid to look up for they may accidentally make eye contact: phone screens, Kindle screens, sudoku screens, newspaper screens, delay announcement, PA shouting, confused expressions, rising tension, gonna be late shit, won't make it, gonna be fired, brain is tired, missing my test, gonna get an F, Finch Station, arrived at my destination... A sigh of relief, now do it again five days a week
Starbucks I don’t even recognize this world around me. How am I supposed to be productive? Maneuvering on an unstable rock, an unknown planet, through an ever-evolving galaxy… Staring at the unfamiliar person across from me at a Starbucks, one of many, not special, drinking brown water, trying to find the inspiration at the bottom of the cup… Multiple unimportant conversations fill the space around me, fleeting moments in a day that blends into the next, any other day really, not special, they’ve all been repeated before... People pretending to be busy, all the while thinking the same thoughts as me, feeling the same feelings, experiencing the same sense of dread… Some people staring off into the distance, waiting for a reply on their phone, waiting for their partner to join them, waiting for an email, for a response, any response, waiting, always waiting… We are our gadgets and our gadgets are us. Coffee, Cappuccino, Americano, Chai Latte, Cold Brew, Iced Tea, Frappuccino, down the hatch, feeling wired, feeling tired, feeling happy, feeling sad, feeling hope, feeling hopeless... Just another day at Starbucks.
The Bear by Cameron Brtnik (based on my girlfriend's dream 3/22/18) I had a dream, twas more like a 'mare I had a dream I was chased by a bear This big brown bear was chasing me It chased me until I ran up a tree I was safe there, at least for now There's no way in hell that I'm coming down Then the bear whipped out its claws Five sharp knives on large white paws It bared its fangs like sharpened blades And shook the tree until it gave Right then I jumped and made escape I looked behind me and saw its shape That's when the fear and dread arrived Don't think I'll make it out alive I ran and ran like rabbit game Inside my fears I had to tame I couldn't tell what's dream or real I thought I'd be the bear's next meal Frantic, panic, sweat and tears All my doubts, anxiety, fears Would I escape? I wasn't sure Next thing that happened was a blur I fell and stumbled, tried to reach high My heart was pounding, I felt it cry I tried to wake up, cried and moaned No one to wake me, all alone The bear bit down upon my head I let him eat me, sure I was dead Then suddenly, everything was fine No more fear, it was a sign From then on when the bear gave chase I stood my ground, stared face to face ….. Now don’t you see, I am the bear The one being chased, the one that's scared But now I can control it, see And tame the bear that lives in me
Deadline I’m not tired but I’m not awake I close my eyes wanting to shut out everything and focus But I fall asleep once again behind schedule Day's gone When I’m asleep deadline's drift away like sand in an ocean breeze Pray I don't wake up, to stay in limbo Awoken again by the greed of day I feel the instant deadline of life waiting
Time Time has no purpose no start, no end perpetually repeating itself at an ever faster rate so fast it makes clocks spin knocking atoms along rushing into the future forgetting the past rendering the future obsolete
what does it all mean What does it all mean? Walking around aimlessly Perpetually lost Never finding my destination What does it all mean?
Walking Plague I am a walking plague I bring death and disease everywhere I go Where there is life there will eventually be death I am a walking plague For which there is no cure Why hasn’t God created a cure to wipe me off the face of the earth? I am a walking plague I live in complete isolation from the world I should be burnt into nothingness I will die lonely I am a walking plague
Hopelessness I’m tired of feeling like this Where I see worth, I feel worthless Where I see opportunity, I feel stuck Where I see work, I feel useless Where I see hope, I feel despair Where I see light, I feel darkness Where I see inspiration, I feel doubtful Where I see life, I feel death Where I see wealth, I feel poor Now on to antidepressants
The Eternal Wanderer or Home
From Nowhere... From Everywhere... Dirty dreadlocks Scraped moccasins Torn backpack Scuffed map poking out (why do they need a map? they'll never get to where they're going) A shower is beckoning to them, like a siren to a filthy sailor, tempting, yet out of reach Phone in hand, but who are they texting, everyone back at home has already forgotten about them or given up A look of eternal loss across their expression "Life's an adventure," they think but it's not what they feel They just want to go Home