VERSEATILE: Freestyle Friday – “Psycho”

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Emcee Problem-Addict

VERSE-ATILE: Freestyle Friday – “Psycho”

Scooby Doo Hip Hop Instrumental https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg8l5BeTAeI

***Disclaimer: Wrote this after taking 20 mg of Adderall and binge watching Dexter. These deranged thoughts and machinations are just for fun. If you take offence, respond with a “freestyle rebuttal” in the comment section. Now dust off your mic and rap along!

“Yo, from Adderall to Ritalin get fuckin’ wired when I inject it in like it’s insulin / Smoke a bit a weed then I get inspired and I start to battle rap against myself like I’m Eminem / Upstanding citizen; stand outside your window and ‘stalk’ you like what you’re investing in / You see me thru the window but you pretend not to, you take off your shirt and your bra too / Then your panties I can see you got boobs, sittin’ on the wood swing good thing I brought lube! (“Eww…”) / I slowly creep to your backdoor – it’s unlocked – so I walk through from the back porch (door creeks) / I can hear the shower runnin’, grab a knife from kitchen drawer, look through the keyhole in the door (Psycho sfx) / Open it just a crack and peek through – I can see you masturbating, the curtain’s see-through / You’re enjoying this just as much as me, ooh, pulled back the divider, her eyes went wider than a treeshrew! (“Ahh!”) / I grabbed the bitch and saran-wrapped her like Dexter, I told her not to worry “I’m an expert” / She asked “Why are you doing this?” I said “I know you like it, you saw me outside earlier don’t lie bitch! / First I’m gonna rape you then cut off your right tit, I’m gonna put the masking tape on now so keep a tight lip!” / She started struggling, I said “Don’t fight it, it’ll all be over soon you might as well invite it” / Undercover of moonlight I grabbed the knife blade, held it to her face, yeah I’m deadly like nightshade / Told her I’m into mergers and acquisitions by day, but really I’m into murder and executions by trade (“What?” / Like drugs it’s just something that I crave, urges that I can’t control like my brain– / Suddenly she freed her hand and reached under the pillow – she pulled out a dildo and it started to vibrate / She stuck it in my ass then turned it sideways – Fuck! – Fell off the bed and hit my head on the night ta-ble… / I awoke with a migraine, the bitch was standing over me with a mace on a spiked chain / “I knew you were a freak!” She said “I hope you like pain” and bludgeoned me with it until the sheets looked like wine stains…. / Suddenly I awoke in my bed, wet soaked in a sweat, happy I wasn’t chokin’ to death / I reached down gropin’ to check…and found the fuckin’ dildo stuck in my ass, IT’S OVER, THE END.” -freestyle by Problem-Addict

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FreeStyle – Do You Think I’m Soxy?

FreeStyle

Do You Think I’m Soxy?

written by Cameron Brtnik for ContentDistribution.com

    Do you remember a time, long ago, when socks weren’t sexy? When they were just something you put on your feet if only for comfort, only to be tossed with disgust into the laundry bin at the end of the day. When they were just an extra in a Tide commercial, or something you “hung with care” over the fireplace on Christmas eve. Flash forward to 2014 when a couple of brothers, Albert and Boris Vaisman, started to think about socks differently, and built a little business called Soxy. 

    The trend has caught on – just inconspicuously check out your cubicle mate’s ankles, or lower your gaze next time you’re at a hobnob at your local haunt – and you’ll be sure to see metrosexual men sporting funky socks, a new form of “podiatry peacocking.” My best friend wears fashionable men’s socks and I feel it says a lot about his personality: quirky, charming, trendy. At first I didn’t understand it: why wear something fashionable that’s basically ninety percent covered up? Then I caught the “foot affliction” and began sporting my own pairs of fashionable foot covers. In high school all we wore were plain ol’ sweat socks. But now a fancy pair of socks has become a conversation starter, a snazzy accessory you can actually give more than a modicum of thought to, much like a fashionable fedora or flashy new kicks. Of course it’s always best to wear a pair of fashionable socks with an equally styling pair of shoes – and fortunately Soxy offers both!

Are You Ready To Look Cool?

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Try These On For Size!

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Mens Blue Big Stripes Bundle

    Whether you’re into striped, checkered, or funky patterns, Soxy has a line of sultry socks for everyone. The great thing is they can be worn in all sock-wearing seasons. We love the Mens Blue Big Stripes (https://www.soxy.com/collections/mens-striped-socks/products/mens-blue-big-stripes-bundle ) for their vibrant colors and bold statement. And really, stripes go with any outfit or occasion. Choose from other styles on their website such as Purple Camouflage and Autism for something really mind-bending.

Why Socks Are Fashionable:

  • They pair well with almost any wardrobe
  • They’re fun to mix and match with pants, shirts, and suits
  • They’re conversation starters
  • They show your uniqueness and originality

“But what can I wear with my funky new foot fashion?” The answer is: pretty much anything.

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What Color Pants With What Shoes?

    First off, you have to know what pants you’re wearing with what shoes before deciding on which socks. Here’s a few pairings we recommend for the more sartorially savvy.

THE BASICS

What Color Pants Should I Wear With Black Shoes?

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Black On Black

    The traditional answer is: black. It’s got a classic, professional look that’s never out of style, whether or not you’re wearing a suit. If you’re in the office or out on the town, you can’t go wrong with black on black. You’ve seen Orange Is The New Black? Well, Black is The New… Orange. Check out Fashion Beans for some great advice on black shoes (https://www.fashionbeans.com/article/best-shoe-colour-combinations-men/)

For The More Fashionable Fellows Among Us

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White Pants With Brown Shoes

    Want to make a statement? Go out and buy yourself a pair of skinny fit white pants and wear them with your swankiest pair of brown leather shoes. You will stand out like a Gucci model at state fair. Warning: you must be in decent physical condition to pull this one off.  All those who care more about ice cream than ice skating beware. For a perfect set of luxurious leathers check out Soxy’s Mens Brown & Blue Leather Wingtip Dress Shoes (https://www.soxy.com/collections/mens-wingtip-shoes/products/mens-brown-leather-wingtip-dress-shoes)

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White Pants With Black Shoes

    For something just as stylish with a more classic appeal, try pairing those tighty-whities with pair of black shoes. You’ll still stand out – but more like Picasso among plebeians. Just be careful you don’t sit on any freshly-painted benches. Try adding an extra touch with Soxy’s Mens Purple Camouflage Socks (https://www.soxy.com/products/mens-purple-camoflouge-socks?pr_prod_strat=description&pr_rec_pid=2665183051894&pr_ref_pid=2654572707958&pr_seq=uniform) and emulating Elvis wish their Mens Black & Blue Suede Driving Loafers (https://www.soxy.com/collections/mens-loafers/products/mens-black-and-blue-suede-driving-loafers).

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Black Pants With White Shoes

    Crisp, clean and summery – no I’m not talking about some new kale crazy. I’m talking about skinny black pants paired with plain old white sneakers. You’ll look hip, fresh, and cool in this aesthetic ensemble. Even cooler, complete this outstanding outfit with a crisp white t-shirt or button down. Pick up a pair of white runners with Soxy’s very own Mens White Leather Sneakers (https://www.soxy.com/collections/mens-sneakers/products/mens-white-leather-sneakers).

“But What About My Upper Half?”

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Black Shirt With White Shoes

    For something more subdued but still stylish, throw on a black blouse buttoned up to the top. This speaks “fashion conscious” without overstating it. Elegant and smart, you’re sure to draw attention from the cool crowd. Here’s a great article from our friends down at Outfit Trends on white shoes. Now study up. (https://www.outfittrends.com/men-outfit-with-white-shoes/)

REFRESHER

Wear Your Snazzy New Socks With:

  • Black pants + black shoes
  • White pants + brown or black shoes
  • Black pants + white shoes
  • Black shirt + white shoes
  • Naked (*remain indoors)

Still not sure what pants to pair with what shoes? Check out this chart

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Pant And Shoe Color Chart

Don’t worry ladies – we didn’t forget you!

    As you can tell, this article was written for men. But that doesn’t mean you’re not a significant other looking for a snazzy pair of stockings for the love of your life. Soxy makes some great gift ideas, and they’ve made it easy for you by putting together special packages. Try these out and we’re sure your beautiful beau will smother you with delectable kisses. Mens Autism Sock Bundle (https://www.soxy.com/products/mens-puzzlemania-bundle?pr_prod_strat=copurchase&pr_rec_pid=2654572773494&pr_ref_pid=2654572707958&pr_seq=uniform)

    Whether you’re looking to update your style or add to your already quirky collection of feet cozies, designer socks are in – and Soxy just made them sexy.

Follow Soxy on IG @soxy

Cameron Brtnik is a freelance writer living in Toronto. He now owns twelve pairs of Soxys, none of them matching

BLOG-Bits: Ramblings of a Madman – The Pub

BLOG-Bits
Ramblings of a Madman
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The Pub
10.23.19
    Nothing like a cool pint on a cold day… Sitting in a warm, dimly lit pub, in prohibition era red velvet chairs. With the first sip you can forget your worries… And the pub suddenly becomes your home: the dirty table, the stained chair, the dusty lamp. You could live here. The waiter is suddenly your best friend. The previously loud and annoying resident is suddenly a friendly neighbour. The loud noises are suddenly welcome. The smell of chicken wings is suddenly akin to the feeling of an organism. An overall sense of elation comes over you like there’s not a thing wrong in the world. All you worries, anxiety, depression – poof – gone. I could kiss my neighbour right now: a bearded hipster. This feeling feels like it could last forever. Is this how men become alcoholics? Did it all start with good intentions – a stress relief, a therapy, something to set the world straight? If I were dying I’d like to got out after a few pints. I wouldn’t be afraid of death. I would welcome it with open arms, like my mustachioed companion. Why can’t I always feel like this? I never want this feeling to end. Weed is good too. Why don’t they serve weed-infused beer pints? They’re missing a good business opportunity. Maybe I should start one: a pub that sells weed pints. I’d make a ton of money. Then I could buy as many pints as I like.

Poetry Corner – Fall

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Fall

Fall is here
Now taunting us
At first bringing hints of hope
Then encompassing us in its brutal embrace
Like icy cold fingers grasping and gripping
Exhilarating and depressing at once
Ominously reminding us winter
is just around the corner
Fall is gone